The Extended StayAmerica Greensboro is a cesspool nestled between the Waffle House and Celebration Station where the sounds of Go-Kart engines can be heard until they close at 3am. This prime location makes the Extended StayAmerica Greensboro a popular tourist destination and as such visitors can find a melting pot of interesting characters staying there. Most are so friendly they can be found outside their rooms into the wee hours of the night smoking all sorts of products and providing inappropriate and menacing stares free of charge. As an added bonus the courtyard is something of a menagerie boasting canines of all shapes and sizes with barks ranging from loud to obnoxious. With all the excitement around the Extended StayAmerica you might forget to enter your room…
But take a stroll in to the frugally appointed rooms and you’ll find delightful Seattle grunge scene inspired décor you won’t find at any of those fancy high priced hotel chains. Only at the ExtendedStay Greensboro can you find such in-style room features as pre-ripped mattresses and non-reclining recliners. From the mystery stains on the carpeting to the cigarette burns on the unwashed comforters, when it comes to progressive “shabby chic” style the ExtendedStay Greensboro has it in spades.
While other chains fall victim to money pits such as “cleaning” and “hygiene”, the ExtendedStay Greensboro allows you to avoid all the pomp and circumstance that comes with clean bed linens and towels. You could say this place is full of history… as everyone who passes through your room has left a little bit of himself behind. Just think – you could be sleeping in the same bed as a famous celebrity or powerful business man and their impetigo, eszema or staph infection will serve as a lasting reminder of the night you spent in this little gem - and all those conditions are totally complimentary!!
The Extended StayAmerica Greensboro is pet friendly. In fact, if you don’t have a pet of your own the Extended StayAmerica will let you keep one of their resident cockroaches free of charge. Good luck finding that kind of souvenir at one of those other high priced chains. If you’re not a pet lover that’s ok too… just wedge one of the complimentary lightly used bath towels under the door and you’ll be roach free all night - for the most part.
Tired of dealing with artificial lighting? Well worry no more – the Extended StayAmerica takes all the guess work out of illumination. These rooms use Green lightning technology… no more artificial blubs here, just good old fashioned sunlight – the way Mother Nature intended it. Who needs to see past their nose after sundown anyway? If for some reason you do need to find the door you can always just follow the sound of the Go-Karts remember, Celebration Station next door is open until 3am. If you happen to find yourself there on a Monday you can take advantage of $3 rides.
Whether you’re washing up for dinner or just trying to drown those lice and ticks you picked up the night before you won’t be confused by all those bottles and bars of soap you get at other hotels. Extended StayAmerica takes a no frills approach to cleanliness… no soap, no shampoo, no fuss, no muss. What happens at ExtendedStay America, stays at ExtendedStay America… it stays in the tub, it stays on the floors, it stays on the bed, and it stays on the carpet. Here, they don’t even bother with toilet paper. Why fill our sewers and oceans with wadded up paper when we have two perfectly good hands? It’s this kind of progressive thinking that puts Extended StayAmerica a cut above the rest. A little nervous about embracing the caveman lifestyle? Well don’t be – the cleaning staff comes through once a week to change the bath towels… whether they need it or not. Just try and catch the start of the next cycle if you’re one of those uptight germaphobes.
All in all the Extended StayAmerica Greensboro offers a once in a lifetime experience that harkens back to a simpler time. If you’re looking for a chance to get away from the day to day grind and escape from cleanliness, relaxation and personal safety this is the place for you. The infections may clear up, and the bug bites will probably fade, but your memories of Extended StayAmerica will live on.