Driving up to the Sleep In, hereafter referred to as the crack den, the first thing we noticed was the abandoned warehouses, razor wire fences, crack heads, bikers, dirty decrepit strip clubs, and hookers. After entering my room at the crack den my first instinct, after regaining control from the involentary gagging due to the smell of smoke, body odor, and other mysterious smells, was to inspect the room for needles. While no actual needles were found, most likely due to junkies tendancies to keep their sharps for later use, many other problems were discovered. First noticed were the roach burns on the blankets and carpets. After peeling down the sheets I noticed the pubic hairs and food all over the bed. Glancing around the room I noticed that the entire room was in fact covered pubic hairs. I opened the one window to air out the room and turned up the heat which led to me getting hit in the face with more hairs from the fan.
Now completely disgusted with the room and feeling very dirty I needed a shower. As soon as I entered the bathroom I noticed something, more pubes, and they were again all over the place, floor, toilet, shower, sink. After cleaning I took a shower, reached for a towel and surprise they were dirty with lots of hair in them although this time much much longer hair. Deciding that a nap was not a good idea unless I was drunk enough to not care if I was sleeping in a sewer I headed out for the night. Going down the elevator I had the pleasure of sharing the space with some of the other guests which led me to believe that meth may be made and used on the premise.
Upon returning to the room later drunk as I could get I went to bed for a couple hours. After waking I immedietly left skipping the free brunch which I am sure was of the highest quality prepared by top chefs. Walking to and from the crack den I feared for my life due to the surrounding area best described as a combat zone in depths of some third world dump. Actually I have been to third world countries and found very nice hotels amid the squalor and felt very safe and clean in them.
After getting home I burned everything that was in the room fearing I may bring some new form of disease created by mixing fluids of heroin addicts and prostitutes and then proceeded to scrub my body steel wool until I bled.
- Brooklyn Sleep Inn
