Beds hard. Might as well have slept on the floor.

There is a "parlor," but there's a computer desk in the middle of it. Seems to function as an auxiliary office. It's locked after the hostess goes to bed. So indeed, there is nowhere to go but one's room. We arrived late, although the hostess was still up to check us in. I had brought a laptop because I still had a couple of hours' work to do before commencing on our vacation. Apparently there is wifi at Grandview, but the network key is a well-kept secret. The hostess had vanished by the time I realized this, so I couldn't get my work done, which is just as well because there was really no place to do it, given the lack of a proper common room.

If you're going to have wifi for your guests, it's easy enough to print the network key on the card you give them when you check them in. Or just make it an unsecured network.

Lox was excellent, bagels were third-rate Safeway product. Fruit good, juice good, coffee acceptable. One of the other guests was eating scrambled eggs when we came down, so apparently alternatives are available for the asking.

The thing is, lox is not a one-size-fits-all dish. Lots of people don't like it. But not everyone wants to admit that because it can seem impolite ... and the breakfast hostess is rather an intimidating presence. So my wife just ate her bagel and fruit quietly. If this inn has the CAPACITY to prepare hot entrees, then it should offer them as an OPTION on a flippin' MENU, instead of shoving LOX at everyone without even asking what they WANT.

When another couple asked the breakfast hostess about shopping, she went on and on in great detail about big-box stores like Fred Meyer and Home Depot ... and dismissed Astoria's entire downtown shopping district as "little shops for your wife." Forgive me, but I doubt most people on their vacations want to shop at Home Depot.

This is one of only a few B&Bs in Astoria that accept children, which is why we chose it. But it's not the only one, which is why we'll choose another if we come back.

We spent the next two nights of our vacation at the Astoria KOA, where we slept better on our own air mattress than we had on the plywood mattresses at Grandview. And the KOA has free pancakes.

We stayed at the Grandview Bed and Breakfast for 1 night. If we'd made a reservation for more than 1 night, we would've asked for our money back and found other accommodations.

From the moment we arrived, we felt uncomfortable with the staff. From previous reviews, we understood that they were not very keen on accommodating unmarried couples, so we did our best to play along. Of course we have different last names, so at breakfast we were asked how we each liked our rooms. Awkward, to say the least. Our interaction with the inn keeper at check-in was odd - she let us know several times that alcohol was not allowed, and pointed this out on the guest form as well. It was pretty obvious that she'd lied about the availability of a less expensive room when we got up the next morning and found the doors still open and no other guests at breakfast. There were 2 other couples at the inn, but they advertise 14 bedrooms... We certainly expected better for what we paid.

When we went down for breakfast, sad looking fruit bowls awaited us, along with some kind of orange beverage. We picked at the fruit, and politely declined the lox bagels - big mistake! The staff took it personally and badgered us until we agreed to eat some muffins. I actually asked for the bagel with just butter, but they did not oblige. Apparently, it was lox and cream cheese or nothing. We made up an excuse and left quickly.

The home was probably beautiful at some point - it's too bad that it hasn't been better taken care of. There was pealing wallpaper and paint, stained ceiling tiles, faded curtains - everything about the house seemed tired and worn. While the view was lovely, it did little to make up for the incredibly uncomfortable bed (ancient sagging mattress does not a good nights sleep make), and hard-as-rock pillows.

This wasn't our first B&B experience, and we're glad of that. If this had been our first impression, we may never have stayed in a B&B again.

Next time we're stuck in Astoria for the night and the only room available is at the Grandview, we'll sleep in the car. You should, too.

I found the owner and staff very pleasant and accommodating. I'd stay at Grandview B&B again. For the price and location, I thought it was a great deal. Carole's home made muffins were fabulous! Thanks, Charlene, Carole and April!

Hard to review this place, it's as average as they come! Nothing negative really, but nothing outstanding either. Will I stay there again? I'll shop around for something else first, but if everything else is full then I wouldn't have a problem supporting these guys.