We went to Kauai to celebrate a special event; my girlfriend's 40th birthday. Wanting to stay away from the overly commercialized resorts and hotels that cater to tourists and their generic tastes, we decided to book with a B&B in the "country-side" in an effort to have a more peaceful and authentic Kaua'i experience. While I myself am a native NYer and am accustomed to the stereo-typical, no-nonsense attitudes for which my fellow NYers are well known, I don't expect that from a small B&B owner who's business (allegedly) relies upon hospitality. Contrary to being pleasant and welcoming, Kathy came across as rude, abrupt, and condescending. Rather than talk with us for any length about sights and activities options, she preferred to refer us to her tome of a loose-leaf binder filled with dated and oft-times obsolete, faded photo-copied sheets of information. My girlfriend - who is far less cynical than I - even made mention to me of Kathy's less-than inviting demeanor. Strike one.

Shortly after we checked-in, Kathy informed us that "oh, by the way" she (the owner and proprietor of Kakalina's) was not going to be around for the duration of our 5-day stay as she was heading to the mainland for a week+ of fun. I was shocked to hear that a hospitality business owner would leave her guests. She indicated that "some friends would pop over" from "time to time" to check on her property, but failed to leave their contact information with us should we need to contact them for any reason / needs that arose. Unsurprisingly, we never saw or heard from these friends of hers. I reckon it was a good thing we opted not to have daily breakfast with her being she would not have even been around to prepare it. Perhaps she was just intending to drop off a week's supply of Safeway-purchased fruit to our unit and call it good. Regardless ... Strike two.

When Kathy walked us into our room, we were surprised to find it unprepared for our arrival. Not only was it un-ventilated, stale smelling, and hot as a sauna, but she had not yet finished folding the laundry and putting it away. Given all her rooms had a small kitchenette (one of the reasons we selected hers over other B&B options in the area), we were surprised to find that after we made our first meal the next day that there was only one fork. Of course, with Kathy gone to the mainland, there was no one to call to get another one. Admittedly, it was not that big of a deal, but was an annoyance. After cleaning up, we noticed just how unclean her place was which was both surprising and infuriating given she charges an extra $40 room cleaning fee. Sadly, there was little evidence of her spending any real effort on ensuring the rooms were cleaned between guest stays. The counter-tops were both sticky and dusty (as were some of the dishes), crumbs littered the place mats on the dining table, and the entertainment area (tv / bookcase) was covered with cob-webs. Dustiness and crumbs aside, the room was infested with ants. Over the course of 5 days, we must have killed hundreds of them. Worse still, we found and killed four of the largest mutant roaches you will ever find; one in the living area, and three discovered in the bathroom shower as we got ready for our day. Strike 3.

Since no place is without its redeeming qualities, I will say that the grounds were lush and well-groomed. The lake / lagoon was dried up during our stay, but the vegetation was still vibrant and beautiful to be around. We ate our fruit-stand purchase each morning and drank a few beers each evening on the wooden patio overlooking the lagoon area, admiring the serenity in the morning and view of the stars in the evening.

And while I was no fan of her decor or general furnishings, the bed and bed linens were superior to those found in most upscale resorts and hotels. However, the bathroom linens (towels, bath mat, wash cloths, etc) were poor quality as in obtained from Goodwill or garage / yard sales.

Overall, I rate our stay with Kakalina's a "1 out of 5" (1 = poor / 5 = exceptional).