We only stayed here as we had a cheap deal and it is close to various relatives we planned to visit.
We paid an extra £80 and upgraded to Club. Thank goodness we did, this was bad enough, but nothing like the sheer hiddeousness of the Budget rooms.
First impressions were usual Stalag type holiday park. There was no car parking near the chalets and we were directed to an overflow carpark, well a field really.
The room was really, really basic. The worst sofa bed you can imagine. Damp, smelly, tired and grubby. Really felt like you needed a shower as soon as you touched any of the furnishings.
Kitchen was okay, had everything you would need, but no one explained the elaborate switch ritual you had to go through each time you wanted to take a shower, or to boil the kettle, or use the microwave?!?!?! Madness.
The twin bedroom was okay, nothing exciting though. Tiny beds and a tiny television. This room was also smelly and felt damp.
We ate at the Conservatory on the first night. Food okay, carvery was lovely, lasagne was nice....but the fish was still frozen in the middle. We asked for it to be changed. Not a word of apology - and the same chips brought back wtih the fresh piece of fish. Horrible.
Ummmm, entertainment, well we went to bingo for a laugh. Trouble was it wasn't very funny. Just loads of chavs sat around drinking jugs of lager whilst their offspring ransacked the place, screamed, shouted, threw chips around and generally rampaged around the hall for the duration of the bingo game. Even when the parents tried to get little Kylie, Chardonnay, Tyler or Tyson to behave the little darlings just laughed, and ran off squealing louder. Which was nice. How we laughed.
But my partner wouldn't forgive me if I didn't mention our favourite thing.....the man on the gate and in his dedication to duty. He had one reason for being....stopping guests smuggling in extras without paying. It was like WW11 films, you know when the delightfully twee newly married lady, waits with her equally quaint friend on a hilltop counting the planes in. "But Edna, four went out.....but only three came in. Where's darling Johnny?". Apart from in this case he was checking the car to see if we had any one hidden under a blanket in the boot. Frightening. We did offer to put 4 Bulgarian economic migrants up for a couple of nights......but the declined, having found a nicer skip in town.
- Wall Park Holiday Centre Brixham
