To refer to this accommodation as "Fawlty Towers" would be unfair and extreme, but the “Tea Rooms Closed” sign swinging forlornly in the wind as we arrived seemed to be some kind of portent.
The place is run with a certain cold efficiency and we found it to be clean and quiet; the room being comfortable if somewhat small. Plenty big enough for two adults however.
We were lucky that, notwithstanding the wind, the weather was reasonably warm. I would hate to have stayed on a cold day as the little electric heater lurking in the bottom of the wardrobe seemed to be hoping desperately that we wouldn't get it out and make it struggle.
Romney Bay House is not, in our opinion, a hotel in the accepted sense, although it has very obvious pretensions to being such, as reflected in both its room prices and the cost of the no-choice, set-time evening meal - £45 per head plus drinks when we enquired. We declined, which was just as well as we had been told that we were probably too late to have booked for the first two of our three-night stay anyway.
As a B&B it functions well enough, if you don't mind being made to feel that perhaps you are not as high up the social scale as the owners' preferred clientele. The Porsche and Bentley Brigade (whom we observed being welcomed on the step and assisted with their bags) were clearly in evidence during our stay and we were told when we booked that the discount on offer was not usually offered (?!) unless someone asked about it. Which we had. No doubt that had blotted our copybook.
Having to remember to leave a note each evening to confirm our breakfast preference, which didn't change (and being ticked off for forgetting), having to be in by lock-up or risk a cold night on the beach, and not being permitted a front door key (in case we ran off with the wooden table thingy just inside, presumably) all contributed to making the stay rather less relaxing than we had hoped. One was constantly cautious of putting a foot wrong.
We didn’t make use of the so-called “honesty” bar, partly because it was not the sort of space that might induce one to sit and relax, but also because, within five minutes of our arrival we had received strict instructions as to what drinks could NOT be taken to our room, in case they got spilled on the curtains. Of course we, being from the wrong side of the tracks, had been simply itching to re-paint the bedroom with several bottles of claret.
On the upside, the cooked Full English breakfast was excellent, the bed, though firm, was comfortable and the little shower room was spotless and as well laid-out as it could be, given the architecture. The location still retains some of its spectacular wildness from the time the house was built and the house’s closeness to the sea is wonderful.
But it’s a shame that there is virtually no reference to the house’s historic beginnings. Although mention is made in the advertising blurb, we could find no reference to its famous first owner or early guests. That, along with the probably very necessary (and not cheap) upvc replacement windows, the derelict tennis court and the slightly worn and in places, loose stair carpet made the place feel more functional than welcoming.
Overall, we had no cause for immediate complaint but, from the peremptory, “Yes?” when we arrived to the, “Oh. You’re doing it THAT way are you?” when we came to settle up in cash, and the complete lack of interest in whether we had enjoyed our stay, we were under the distinct impression that we had been tolerated, having slipped in under the radar, rather than being valued guests soon to be welcomed again.
It is very unlikely that, under the present management, we would stay there again.
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC
