I decided just a week before to travel to Winter Haven for the Cleveland Indians' spring opener. As such, the town's hotels were basically sold out...but I found vacancy here. There was good reason for that.

When checking in, I should have taken a clue from the thick layer of crud on the check-in window. The desk clerk knew who I was as soon as I said I had a reservation...leading me to believe that they don't get too many, instead depending on a walk-up clientele. You may draw your own conclusions from this statement.

Once I got in the room, there was a layer of greasy fuzz on the phone mouthpiece, filthy carpets, the door chain was broken off of the frame (as if the door had been kicked in), the mattresses were pretty thin, the sheets were "dubious" (though I didn't see any hairs or stains)...all in all, the nastiest place I've ever stayed. It was late and area hotels were sold out, so I weighed the option of sleeping in the rental car. Instead, I went to a 24-hour grocery and bought some Lysol, sprayed down the bed, TV remote and toilet, and slept on top of the sheets with the bedspread removed and my clothes on for six hours, and then got the heck outta there. I couldn't wait to take a shower at my next stop after the game, as I wouldn't take one here (suspecting I'd leave the tub carrying things I didn't enter it with).

I'm no Felix Unger-type fussbudget (ask my wife, I'm rather a slob), but I was honestly appalled at the filth here. This is the sort of place that you'd think only exists in fiction. Avoid.