I live in Rio de Janeiro with my husband and we went to Hotel Pestana Angra dos Reis for six days, partly to check out what Brazilians call one of the most charming spots of their country, and partly to avoid the throng and the noise of the carnival.
Well, as to throng and noise, there certainly wasn't any of those at Hotel Pestana Angra. While all other hotels in the region were fully booked, Pestana was almost empty and after an hour's stay it became perfectly clear why; the place is extremely expensive (a thousand dollars a night during this period) and does not even qualify as a three-star hotel, let alone the five stars that they claim to possess.
There is no lobby to speak of, only a glorified shack, from which a steep road (take hiking boots and a flashlight even to walk around on the hotel premises) leads to the bungalows, which are no more than shacks, either. Furnished in Ikea style, with a terrace that is both dirty and run down (with a ratty divan, rusty railings, loose floorboards with nails sticking out), a minibar that has nothing more thrilling than water, coke, and beer (and to go to the bar takes another hiking trip or there's room service for a steep percentage on top of the already expensive drinks).
The pool area is average, the beach is nice but the shore literally disappears around 3 in the afternoon because of the tide, and even if the tide is low, it is pretty small.
The gym is the non plus ultra of the place: absolutely nothing works in it; two decrepit treadmills, one ancient stepper, and a stone-age bike, and a rusty machine-complex for the upper body...all for the eyes, as NONE OF THEM actually works. Of course there's no air-conditioning and it was built with an open air concept in mind, so the heat would kill you if you were lucky enough to find anything working in there, anyway.
The restaurant's menu is very very limited and most of the time the dishes are a far cry from what is described on the menu or they are not even available. After three days one doesn't feel like eating at all, especially when thinking of the prices (sixty dollars for a cod main course).
The wine list is just as limited, with almost nothing drinkable by glass, and, by now it goes without saying, very expensive.
The only upside of the place is the friendly although incompetent service; the waiters and waitresses are full of smiles and apologies, probably trained to compensate for the frustrations in this cost-effective manner.
Anyway, I could write a novel about the downsides of this hotel, but what it all boils down to is that I seriously warn anyone to go anywhere near the place.
- Pestana Angra Dos Reis
