There are some good things about Hotel Beaurivage, so I'll start with those.

The location is really good. It's right on the beachfront and if you book one of the sea view rooms you'll love the view, especially the sunsets - they're stunning. Anse Vata is a short walk away, as is the Aquarium and there's a supermarket within walking distance if you don't want to dine out every day.

There are some truly wonderful people working in the hotel. Michel, he's always friendly, and has excellent knowledge that's relevant to tourists. If you're lucky enough to have your room serviced by Monique, you're also bound to have a nice stay as she's a beautiful lady with a wonderful smile and a sweet nature.

Now onto the negatives.

If you don't speak much french, forget staying here. If you try to ask any questions you won't get any info out of most of the staff. Too bad if you have an emergency, you're on your own there.

If you want a clean room, forget about that too. There was grime and mould in my bathroom and I don't think the floors were vacuumed during my stay at all. Equipment was mostly in working order but some things like the remote control in my room, were held together with tape. Although, my radio stopped working a few days into my stay so I take back that statement about everything being in working order.

You'll hear your neighbour's peeing in their toilets, and their flushing toilets will wake you up in the middle of the night. I ended up not flushing if I had to get up in the middle of the night out of consideration for the people next door. I don't know why I bothered, because they woke me up with a loud and abusive arguments and crashes of furniture being thrown around the room anyway.

Try not to have a shower at the same time as the person in the room next door, as the hot water will be all over the place and you might end up with burns as I almost did. Thankfully I've got good reflexes. Also watch for the clogged drain, as you'll end of standing not only on the grime in your bath tub, but the rising fetid water that won't go down the drain.

Be careful stepping into and out of the lift, as the people who use the pool won't bother drying their feet after they get out of the pool and don't really care if you slip on their puddles on the way up to your room.

If you like clean glasses etc, you might want to bring your own. The glasses are washed in the bathroom sink in just water, and wiped with the same cloth everyone else's glasses are dried with, lipstick and other mouth crusties and all.

All I'm saying, is do your research so you don't need to ask for anything from the front desk staff, and be prepared for substandard hygiene and cleanliness. Oh, and be prepared to pay through the nose for it.

Or... Stay at a different hotel. I wish this hotel had had a review written about it before I stayed here, because if it was an honest review like mine, I would've stayed somewhere else.

Good luck, you'll need it.