I should have known to worry when, despite reconfirming in the morning, the shuttle didn't turn up to collect me at the airport that there were interesting times ahead.
After waiting 45 minutes (the hotel had assured me it would be 5 more minutes a number of times) I finally caught a taxi to the hotel and tried to check in at 13:45. "Check in is at 2pm" I was told - "no exceptions". I figured it was 15 min so what the hell. At 2:40 I finally got a room on the 5th (top) floor.
First thing in the room I switch on the aircon - 35 degree heat was very hot. No cold air of course! I rang reception and was told someone would come in 5 minutes. Half an hour later called and same story. Third time a team of people arrive and work on the aircon. Lots of laughter amongst the team follows before they rip the aircon unit from the wall and leave with it leaving a big hole in the wall. 20 min later back with anew aircon.
Paradise - it works brilliantly for two minutes. They leave and within a minute the unit starts to make an almighty shuddering sound. Another 5 calls and two hours later (and at least 4 promises of 5 minutes) and I decide to go down to confront them.
I wait for the (only) lift - and wait! Finally give up and walk to find a cleaning lady on the 3rd floor with a bucket holding the lift door open!
At reception more promises of 5 minutes... Decide to go for a drink but find bar and lounge closed due to a strike...
This all proceeds much the same for 2 days until I am due to leave. I book a shuttle and they say it will go 5:45 am. So I come down at 5:35 to check out to be told the shuttle left 5 minutes ago. Checks the book, tuts his tongue and says "don't worry - it will be back in half an hour". Given the experience of 5 minutes, half an hour puts the fear of god in me. They make all sorts of promises for the next half hour (during which time they had still not finalized my check out) before I eventually manage to flag down a passing taxi.
Disaster from start to finish - and if I ever hear "5 minutes" again I will need trauma counselling!
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