This is a residential facility that "tolerates" having short term guests the way bad "in laws" do. Nothing is put on for you and you end up being treated poorly. Now to elaborate.....
The hotel is located centrally in Brisbane and the views of the bridge are spectacular. Thats about where the good stuff ends.
Checking in is not convenient, even less so with a car. Some of the things this hotel does are unlike any hotel in the world that we have stayed at and not in a good way.
We checked in on a public holiday. This hotel is on a one way street. There is a loading zone out front but being a public holiday it was full. We parked in a garage entry, behind another car so that our car was halfway out in the left hand lane, to check in. Now when I checked in, the staff member was very "matter of fact" with me, hardly friendly. We had to swipe a credit card for incidentals (now, there are no incidentals, no minibar, no anything, your credit card is swiped so they can fine you...more on that later).
I was given two rooms key with the world largest key rings attached (Ive gotten keys from service stations for their bathrooms with smaller key rings attached) and a swipe key. Awesome, this must be how you access the car park. So off I go back to the car and drive in the now open car park thanks to a resident opening the gate just as I got there. The car park is ridiculously narrow (as could be seen by all the marks on the wall). We have a medium size SUV and it only just fit with no room to get in or out, I would hate to visit with a Land Cruiser or Prado. We got a car park next to the wall ($400 towing fine if you parked somewhere else) and I physically could not get out of the car when parked. My wife (who is small statured) could just get in and out, so she had to park it. We had to stop in the middle of the car park to get our kids out (2yrs & 6 weeks old), not safe.
We get to the room and there is no compendium. I call reception to ask where it may be, the rude reply was that the A4 printed sheet I was handed with my keys was the "welcome" note. At that point I must admit that I didn't feel very "welcome".
The hotel rooms are individually owned, so depending on the frugalness of your owner depends on what facilities you have. We had a 2 bedroom "family" unit. It had enough crockery cutlery etc but then the fun stopped.
It had a tiny 51cm (maybe, at a stretch, could have been 34cm) TV in the lounge, not a flat screen, an NEC from maybe the 90's....maybe the 80's....it had a remote so maybe the 90's. It had snowy analog foxtel but this is a family unit and it had NO children's programming. It also had no digital channels so no ABC3 or any other children's shows.....very poor. No TV's in the bedrooms but there are antenna plugs.
Broadband exists, but no wifi. Broadband is criminally expensive. $10 per hour, $20 for 24 hours and $40 for 48 hours. Thank goodness I brought my iPhone and iPad.
It was air-conditioned throughout, but most, I am told only have air conditioning in the bedroom.
The front door could not be locked from the inside, so my two year old constantly tried to let herself out. Not safe.
The beds were hard and the pillows uncomfortable. The bathroom had smoke detectors, in the "welcome" sheet, we were advised that if the bathroom steamed up it could set off the fire alarm and we would be liable for any costs. (Who puts a fire alarm in a bathroom!!!!). There were other fines, one for $350 for loss of key (but how could you lose it when it was attached to a dinner plate) and others I cannot specifically recall.
We went out the next day and upon our arrival back at the hotel we could not access the car park. There was nowhere to use the swipe key. I went inside to query (neither convenient or safe) and was told I had to ring reception from my car and they would let me in. This was apparently written on the piece of paper I was told I had to keep on my dash or my car would be towed away and I would receive a $400 towing fine. So unfortunately as it was sitting on my dash, I hadn't read it...how silly of me.
Now when we got back to our room, we had no water...at all. Every floor from the 20th up (we were on the 23rd) had no water. No showers that night, or a cuppa, or refilling the water for the fridge.
We were further told the next day our unit would be fumigated, with us in it. Now we advised that we had small children and we objected to this and asked for it to be done once we checked out. They did this, small consolation. I spoke to one (yes only one) friendly staff member throughout our stay, he promptly brought us a "Do not disturb" sign for our door as one was not left in the room.
Upon checking out we canvassed the room as our two year old has a habit of leaving things under beds etc. We found some old stinky slippers that appeared to have been there a while and a children's toy. It would appear that they care about cleanliness like care about everything else in this hotel.....not very much.
So, overall, the unit was adequate but not child friendly, not very clean, most of the staff were curt and spoke to you like a bad real estate agent speaks to tenants, the parking was difficult, the views were nice though. Would I stay here again....hell no. Would I stay at an Oaks hotel again...not likely.
Room Tip: Heres a tip to choosing a good room, try another hotel!!!!
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This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC