This is by far and away the weirdest hotel I have ever stayed in. Don't let that put you off, but don't expect a lot for what you could pay to stay here.
I went with my wife and two kids in December to see the Christmas Markets and Valkenburg itself. Think we paid around E400 for two nights in a family room.
Good points - The hotel is within walking distance of Valkenburg centre, 5 mins max. The reception area was very nice but the staff on reception were okay but not overly friendly. The room we had was big to say the least, the kids had bunk beds and a single the other two rooms had two single beds. The room was spotless, plenty of toiletries, loads of nice clean towels.. The swimming pool and spa is very nice and obviously recently renovated. Good buffet breakfast in the massive dining hall.
Bad points - The hotel itself is in desperate need of renovation, as per the previous reviews it is very dated. I think that one floor has been done but I cannot confirm this. The facilities in our room were poor, tele out of the 70's, broken remote, no sky channels, no lock on bathroom door, no shower curtain at all (it wasn't missing it had just never been there), no tea or coffee making facilities. Staff in the bar, which is tiny, were grumpy and un friendly. The snack menu is all in dutch, when I asked the barman what the food was he said, "junk food sir."!!! Anyway I ordered something and it was very nice...porkballs. I would expect that the food in the restaurant on a night is nice but we didn't eat there.
All in all this hotel reminds me of a cross between The Overlook Hotel (from The Shining) and Fawlty Towers!!!!! It's just a really strange place after staying in the likes of a Radisson or Marriott this place will feel really different to you. I looked at a lot of hotels in Valkenburg and this was one of the best I could find.
I would stay here again because it's right next to Valkenburg centre and Valkenburg at Christmas time is magical. You won't find a better place in Europe at Christmas. The markets in the cave are fantastic, and Maastricht Christmas market (ten mins drive away) is excellent.
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC