Somatheeram: one name for two different Resorts. The differences are more important than the similarities. They both are situated on a hill overlooking the ocean. They share the pool and stairs leading to the sea, these two equipments are on the field of the neighboring Somatheeram Ayurvedic Resort (with a logo with a big S). Here I’ll talk about the Somatheeram Ayurveda (logo with an orange sun). Originally, both places were just one Resort which belonged to two brothers. Today, each brother runs his own Resort under almost the same name. It’s confusing. They share a bit of common infrastructure (road to the pool and sea).
For the rest, many things are quite different. Unfortunately, we had already paid full price in advance for a stay of two weeks at the Ayurveda. Otherwise, we would have changed to the Ayurvedic.
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The location
The situation is idyllic, on the heights overlooking the beach of Chowara, south of Kovalam. At the foot of the hil: fishing villages, a place of Christian worship ... and a cemetery. The garden of the Resort, like anywhere in Kerala, is nice and surrounded by lush vegetation.
The cottages
There is no central hotel-building, but a set of rudimentary cottages with well-functioning bathrooms. In this part of the country where it is easily 32 degrees with 85% humidity, the majority of these homes have no air conditioning, just a fan. Against all logic, the two windows are on the same side, preventing the possibility to have some air circulating. We were forced to leave the door open hoping to cool down the air. When it rains (which was the case every day for several hours during, late October and early November 2011), there is no possibility to stay outside and to be sheltered watching the rain fall. Only the expensive Kerala Houses have a small sheltered terrace. The Resort has no library or coffee- shop, where you could stay to read during the rainy season.
The reception
As everywhere in Kerala, the traveler is welcomed with jasmine flowers and coconut juice on his arrival at the resort. But we were quickly disappointed by the lack of professionalism. Only one person spoke English properly. The other employees knew just few words.
The restaurant
An impressive number of employees spin around inefficiently in the hall of the restaurant. We couldn’t understand what their roles were. When we asked one person to clean a table, the request passed from one waiter to another, with no guarantee of success. When someone finally came to set the table, he generally didn’t bother to remove the remains of salt or rice left by previous guests on the tablecloth. When we ordered some tea, it happened that it was served 20 minutes later or just forgotten. A waiter would get rid of one dirty plate leaving the other two - dirty too - on the table, etc... We had the feeling that the employees were physically present but mentally absent, taken in their dreams.
The food
A large buffet is set up at each meal, with a variety of dishes. But the food is bland, tasteless, mostly overcooked. If you arrive at two pm, the food is usually cold because the cooks forget to turn on the gas under the pans at the buffet. Three days after our arrival, we discovered by chance that we could also order a la carte, since we were on a full-board basis. Nothing is clear in this hotel; one has to discover everything by himself. The real scandal, however, for this establishment dedicated to Aurveda, are the signs denoting foods. In the Ayurvedic tradition one chooses his food according to his two Doshas. The signs were purely fanciful, such as a combination of the three elements together (Vatha Pitta Kapha). Our Ayurvedic doctor told us that there should be a maximum of two elements in one dish. That didn’t reassure us about the seriousness of Somatheeram Ayurveda. Of course, nobody in the restaurant did speak enough English to explain us the reason of these mistakes. We were expecting a diet tailored to our needs. We were disappointed.
The Rejuvenating Cure
We had come for a cure of 14 days. They promised us, two hours of daily treatment. In fact, it was mostly an hour and a half. The meeting with the doctor was a standardized cold ritual, without any warmth or empathy. Until the end of our stay we were identified by your room number and not by our name. The ayurvedic masseuses knew barely ten words in English. Communication was therefore limited to the order "Sit! » and the question, «OK?”. The massage oil had a rancid smell and was mostly too hot. During the massage, other employees kept coming in and out disturbing our tranquility.
Poor hygiene
Once you arrive at the Ayurvedic center, you must take off your shoes. So your feet pick up a lot of dust (and mine also a plantar wart). The masseuses then spread out this dirt from the feet all over the body. It feels pretty bad. After a few days, I allowed myself to ask them to clean my feet before starting the full body massage. I didn’t ask how they cleaned the wooden beds on which we laid naked and took our oil baths. I also wondered with other tourists what they did with the gallons of used oil. We thought that they reuse for other clients.
Yoga
I was looking forward to yoga classes. Since I couldn’t attend the group lessons, I took four or five private lessons. The teacher was unable to take into account my physical condition. He even pushed on my back for a stretch, causing back pain that lasted several days. I watched the beginner’s classes taught by a woman at the other Soomatheeram Resort, they seemed much more appropriate!
Tips
In several hotels in Kerala, the customers are invited not to give individual tips but rather to put them in a box at the reception; the money is then distributed equally among the staff. It’s a great idea. At the Somatheeram everybody is expecting a tip. The therapist of my husband explicitly asked if he would give him a good tip and mentioned an amount of 200 dollars!
In conclusion
We did not get the impression of personalized care. We were treated as anonymous customers. "Room-number! » said in a peremptory way was the usual greeting. It seemed us that the English word "please" didn’t exist at the Somatheeram Ayurveda Resort. In our opinion, it is not an Ayurvedic clinic, but a bad beach resort. I refuse to attribute to cultural differences the lack of competence of the hotel staff. Ten days in Kerala, before arriving at this Resort, have shown us that three-star hotels with adequate English-speaking staff are not an exception. These hotels were not more expensive then the Somatheeram. Their staff was better trained and perhaps better paid.
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC
