ALDRIG MERE Panoramic.. turistfælde af VÆRSTE skuffe. Read below why.
There is a LOT to say about this hotel. From webpage it looks very nice and sells the all-inclusive packages well. You get the impression that you can pick from a wealthy buffer basically all day. Very wrong.
In short, nothing in this hotel is like the brochures describe.
Booking:
We found the hotel because of an add in a Danish magazine. (Idényt) The add was in Danish. The webpage was (partly) in Danish. But the rest of the communication from booking, to confirmation etc is ONLY in German. If you can't read the language, you can't understand their written terms etc.
Arrival:
Unlike depicted in their webpage, they actually have two towers of 16 stories. So there is a nice "view" of the other one from most rooms. The entire hotel is in grey, partly pastel painted concrete, with green areas in sorry need of trimming. Very much reminds of Russian build style. Reception was very short and not very welcoming. Questions were replied by "it's all in the welcome letter". Ehh.. OK.
Rooms:
Back to the 70s.. UGLY furniture, dark walls, a kitchen so sparely equipped that it's useless. An ancient 20 inch tube TV with 10 German channels placed 3½ meter away from a very uncomfortable couch set. Yes, the couches that are beds 3 and 4. The bathroom badly equipped, not even a shower curtain, no way to vent bathroom. The "kids room" equipped with a very high window almost impossible to open. Because everything is concrete, even footsteps from above could be heard clearly. At 5:30..
And yes, Disney Channel still means GERMAN Disney channel.
Food:
We ordered all-inclusive. That actually means: you can eat from the buffet 3 times a day, and there is (dry, boring) cake served 2 hours at noon. The buffer initially looks OK, but after some days it's evident that much food is re-purposed. And we doubt it was stored at correct temperature during the buffet display. There is a theme every day of the week, btw the same exact schedule every week.
Drinks are free if you order the Sinalco softdrinks or cheap wine / beer. Oddly it would often take up to 10++ minutes from order of drinks to someone would bring them. Why on earth don't they put up a place to serve own drinks ? We often finished first course before drinks would arrive.
Food generally is quite discount, meaning fat. Their idea of "kids choices" typically is fries with ketchup etc.
Lunch is very heavy, like curry wurst and chips. The slices of ham, cheese etc is ABSOLUTELY absent. Very strange with so many non-Germans.
Swim Area / Sauna:
Actually is OK, if there is no more than 5 people in the pool. But typical occupation is around 40-50, so you can't swim at all. Worse.. the dressing facilities are catastrophic. They are very tiny, most lockers don't work, and shower rooms are very tiny. 2 working showers during our stay in men's room. We saw a lot of people entering the pool with dry hair = completely unwashed. This is a very unhealthy pool, I bet.
Sauna area actually is good. Just a shame that almost only Germans enjoy it since it's nude area, and shared. This is completely normal in Germany. But again, it's not maintained, f.ex 4 of 5 "sun caves" (solariums) were out of order.
Kids activities:
The hotel has a kids club, which it actively advertises. A weekly schedule has 7 different activities, and a "disco" every night. So, with around 40% of guests being Danish, Danish adds and a Danish webpage, they surely would have a Danish speaking kids entertainer ? WRONG. Of course, everything is in German. The people in kids club hardly even speak English. No wonder only German kids use that option. The disco is an OK activity, but could certainly need from different music inspiration. It's German "After Ski Disco" style all the way.
The playground outside is a very sad place. A single swing and a sand box. The other things are broken and not fixed.
There is a trampoline, which is always over crowded.
No place to play ball, so the only place is in front of reception between building blocks = noise until around 10 pm for everyone.
Fitness Room:
This deserves a special mentioning. They claim to have a fitness room available for guests. Well, they have ONE (yes, 1) key for the ENTIRE hotel for this (locked) room. If a guest runs around with that key.. well, "nothing we can do". Since actually the fitness room is not theirs, it belongs to the wellness club being advertised everywhere in the same hotel. Oh and besides it's only 3 old machines in a tiny room.
Wifi
They mention Wifi, but beware: ONLY in reception area, and ONLY against a (high) price. Don't expect that for free.
Adult activities:
Apart from being in the bar with a drink, nothing.
In general, Panoramic is a wanna-be nice place, but is just SO worn out, and SO full of the cheapest ever solutions - like the 5€ water boiler in the kitchen. Nothing appears to be maintained, if a hook falls out somewhere, it's just missing. If a shower breaks down, just put up a sign "Außer Betrieb". Same thing ALL around. From the parking lot, to facades, over rooms to the swimming pool - or the food. Worn, cheap solutions, dark, depressive, bad service.
And why on earth they make the effort to lure Danish customers with ads and do SO little to actually welcome them properly is a mystery. I would loved to have seen at least a Danish speaking kids person, and some sliced cheese for lunch. Not much to ask.
This hotel is a tourist trap at it's worst. Absolutely avoid. We would have picked one of the other nice hotels in the city any time, could we re-do it.
- Familotel Panoramic Bad Lauterberg
