Sir
Being a Brit myself, I can relate to your pessimistic, dreary outlook. I don't however, share your blinkered view.
I assume you weren't looking for fish and chips too? If an overpriced, pretentious place is what you seek, go about 5 km north to Forte dei Marmi. We have stayed at the hotel and found the staff friendly, the atmosphere relaxing and I found a 20 metre walk across the road to the beach quite convenient, actually.
If you go to Pietrasanta proper, you'll find some marvellous sculpture throughout the town, and a little place called Il Gato Nero, one of the best restaurants I and my Italian wife have ever been too. This world famous restaurant has a large selection of quality food, about 25 percent of it piscine, and has Vittoria, one of the most marvellous hostesses to grace the Italian food scene. Ever stay in a Brit hotel, by the way???
Please, if you visit a "foreign" country, appreciate it for what it is, not what you think it should be. See you in Rimini ... not.

This hotel is a little tired. Extremely basic continental breakfast - no fresh fruit at all. Wonderful staff tried very hard and we were made welcome. There is some building work going on at the hotel so dont be surprised at the scaffolding. Position not good - road was very noisy and lots of walking to find a decent restaurant. Outdoor Theatre behind hotel however made up for it all - it was wonderful - sorry I cant remember the name ! Oh - by the way if you dont like fish dont go to PietraSanta to eat.