OK, let's do the good stuff first. The people were friendly, the room was clean and the bed was comfy.
Now the bad stuff. The main hallway, the stairs and the dining room stink of stale, cheap cooking oil. How much does a bottle of fresh oil cost? Or an extractor fan? The shower in my room had only two positions: freezing cold and scalding hot. It seemed recently installed but had a cheap and nasty (and quite possibly illegal) non-thermostatic mixer, which gave me a nasty surprise by going to scalding mid-shower. Although it's near the beach, the immediate area is definitely rough - I never walked to to from the place without hearing loud alcoholic arguments and fighting in the streets. Feral youths roam, I'm over six feet tall and not terribly nervous, but felt extremely uneasy walking to the hotel the first night and took a taxi the next time.
Breakfast was neither good nor bad. You have to order the day before which is a bit of a pain, and a full cooked breakfast is precisely five items. The quantities of these are quite reasonable, but would it really be too much work to give a better selection - and take orders on the day? Quality was very variable: nasty cheap sausages (ten pence saved there) but good bacon and egg. Hash browns nearly ruined by the previously mentioned stale frying oil.
Now the weird stuff. It's not a hotel - it's a nineteen fifties guest house, with restrictions which I thought had gone out decades ago. The bar is open, dear reader, from 5pm till 5.15pm each day. That's right, just fifteen minutes. At 5.15pm a bell is rung and guests move to the dining room where they sit at their allocated table and eat the meal they ordered at breakfast time. At 5.15pm. Yes, they serve dinner well before six o'clock ... and apparently they can't be bothered to serve drinks (the bar is at the entrance to the dining room) at the same time as food. Maybe it's just too confusing. I should point out that I did not eat dinner there - but with all these restrictions I had no desire to do so, The menu seemed like standard 1970s hotel fare. Has anyone seen a prawn cocktail in the wild anywhere else since the last Wilson administration?
Would I stay there again? Not on your life. The room was OK, but I have no desire to stay in a Butlins Holiday Camp. I was half expecting them to wake me up with a cheerful tannoy announcement at 7.30am before calisthenics on the lawn.
Oh, and they don't take children. Not that I can imagine anyone under the age of seventy enjoying this place. Fond memories of the blitz probably help. Lucky escape, kids.
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC