When me and my wife booked a room described as 'side sea view' we didn't expect a stunning display of the English Channel. We did, however, expect to be on the same side of the hotel as the sea! Having been told the check in time was after 2pm we had decided to take our small suitcase to the beach and watch the airshow first then went to check in after seeing the red arrows, about 5pm. The rather unfriendly asian lady on reception told us that everyone else had checked in before the airshow and made me and my wife feel that our 'late' check in was somehow a great imposition on her. we were then taken (by a gentleman far too old for me to ask to carry our luggage, god knows how elderly guests are treated) to a room at the rear of the hotel with a pane of glass in the door and told that our room was in fact on the path of the emergency exit in case of fire. Just the thing to help a young couple relax on a romantic weekend! The room itself was large enough and quite clean, though had a musty smell, and the bed was extremely small and badly sprung, with visible stains on the bedcover beneath which lurked a dodgy looking brown blanket that was probably older than me or my wife. The bathroom was rather grotty with a very low ceiling that emitted strange gurgling noises all night. On requesting some tap water to drink we were told that 'most people just drink the bathroom water' though bottled water was available at the bar. Not thinking this wise I tried to purchase bottled water at the bar which was not staffed. In the end I had to get the receptionist to come upstairs to the bar, then run downstairs when she discovered there in fact wasn't any water available at the bar, all the time letting me know just how put upon she felt. When it turned out there wasn't even any change at the bar I offered to go upstairs to get some. When I came back in under a minute with the correct change she had already deserted the bar and was sprawled across the stairs in reception complaining to all and sundry about how busy she was and didn't even bother with a quick thank you for my trouble.
Breakfast was quite the most disgusting experience I've ever had in a hotel. After sitting there being ignored for ten minutes, a waiter asked us whether we'd like tea or coffee while refusing to take our food order. Cold instant coffee was then served in a chipped teapot. After another 10 minutes we were finally allowed to order food. I requested 2 full English breakfasts. Normally when I order a full English I expect to be asked exactly what I want (given that the contents weren't written on the menu however the waitress rushed off and in under a minute we were presented with identical plates consisting of a rubbery fried egg, a greasy piece of black pudding that my wife found inedible, an undercooked sausage, a piece of fried bread which was so greasy it could only have been deep fried and 2 rather pathetic looking pieces of soggy, fatty bacon. This was accompanied by a round of toast so cold that it had possibly been toasted in winter and two of the smallest glasses of orange juice I have ever seen in my life. Given that they were served in glasses more fit for drinking whisky it would have been nice if they were more than half full.
Later on in the day when we went back to pick up our luggage before getting the train home I made the mistake of using their public bathroom. Both urinals were out of order and were blocked with dirty old supermarket plastic bags forcing me to use a cubicle which I wouldn't have done if I'd known there was no soap in the dispenser with which to wash my hands. The room itself didn't look like it had been cleaned in at least a month and there were recent brown stains in the bowls of the toilets.
This is the worst hotel me and my wife have ever stayed at. If they do not have sea views available they should not advertise as such. While we understand that the weekend of the airshow is probably the busiest of the year for all the hotels in town it is therefore the most profitable (especially given the premium we paid for our room which would be enough for a four star hotel in most places) and probably warrants taking on a couple of extra staff to deal with the workload which the regular compliment of staff are clearly incapable of dealing with. On top of this the fact that we were cheated by not being provided with any sort of sea view when our room was specifically sold as such means I can only give this hotel the lowest mark in all categories and make it clear that I will never be staying there again. I don't know how the AA felt this establishment worthy of 3 stars and intend to make my feelings known to them as well.
- Courtlands Hotel Eastbourne
