Having arrived and tried to use the door intercom, the voice on the other end was hostile and aggressive. Even when I managed to establish that I'd a booking, there was no welcome, and the only friendly face I saw belonged to a large ginger cat. At least there was someone happy to see me. My room card was handed over, once I'd paid the EUR 20 "key deposit". (Since when did cheap mag-strip cards cost EUR 20 to replace?) I was warned about batteries in the door lock.
Time to try the "key" in the street door lock. About five tries later, I got it to open. Having opened, it wouldn't lock again.
So I went upstairs to my room. They weren't wrong about the room lock. The battery cover was missing, leaving the batteries exposed, and it simply didn't lock. There was no way of making it work, either. Color me unimpressed. Mine wasn't the only room whose lock had lost the battery cover, too.
The room and bed at least looked clean, and probably were. The next job was to close the windows and shut out the gale outside. One of them eventually yielded to brute force. The other couldn't be made to close, let alone latch shut, despite best efforts. As it was directly above the head end of the bed, it was going to be a cold and drafty night. And if the wind was from the wrong direction, a wet one too. So much for security and comfort. The room was tiny, but I'm a frequent traveler to Amsterdam, so I was expecting that.
There were towels provided (not fluffy by any stretch of the imagination, but not scratchy either). No soap, shampoo or any other human comforts. Strangely, there was a flat sachet of some kind of perfume, the sort that comes on magazine covers (and probably did). Fortunately, I'd brought shampoo with me, a bottle from a rather better hotel, which served as liquid soap for use with the washstand (the toilet and shower were communal).
I laid down on the bed and surveyed the ceiling, in which a single light fitting appeared to bear every stain it accumulated since it had been installed. Somewhere in the 1970s, I'd guess. A dead moth completed the picture.
Decor, both in the room and outside it in the accommodation common areas, was desperately in need of a refresh. Electric cables were mostly inside badly installed and cheap trunking untidily stuck or screwed to the wall. Plumbing was all there to see. The whole place felt run-down and neglected.
I feared for my luggage, given the lack of security, so my trip out that evening was necessarily brief. Leaving, I did get the front door to latch, so I had a little hope that I'd come back to the same bags I left. Thankfully, I did.
When I settled down to sleep, I discovered that the bed rocked really badly. No, that's not quite correct. The bed rocked really WELL. Thankfully, the telephone directory the hotel thoughtfully provided was just the right size to chock the bed leg, that and a book I'd brought with me. The mattress felt like an upholstered block of foam, and had only a thin sheet between me and it. Once I'd put on enough layers to insulate me from the cold draft from the part-open window above my head, I managed sleep of a sort.
The following morning, I went down for the breakfast buffet. The lady on the front desk didn't even look up.
The buffet, to give credit where due, was reasonable, and the breakfast room, which doubles as hotel reception, was light, nicely decorated and clean-looking, in marked contrast to the room areas next door. On display there were cereals, cheeses, meats, all of which looked fresh, and on the warmers were scrambled eggs, slightly dry beans and some fried sausage. Juices, coffee and tea were provided. It was only as I was heading to my chosen table that I saw what the cat (sleeping peacefully on a chair) had left underneath it. By this time, I felt like dropping my pants and doing the same. I picked a different table.
Still, breakfast went down and stayed down. I handed over my "key", got my deposit back, and left the Belga, never to return.
The only redeeming features of this hotel were the buffet and the free wi-fi. And the cat, although it could use a little toilet training.
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC