Upon arrival..... sheer disappointment, even the shabby outside sign couldnt prepare us for what was ahead. However upon entry we were plesantly surprised with the rustique tables, wooden floors and general ambiance.
We arrived a few hours before checking and so wanted to sore our suitcases. After being issued with the fence post key, my friend kindly took my suitase (being a fine blonde) down the stairs of death and into the dungeon basement, ignoring the suspicious smells.
Having stored our luggage we went out to enjoy the pleasures of the city. We returned to check in and were informed that although we had booked two rooms together we were in fact not going to be neighbours. I was condemmed to the top floor of the left hand side of receiption and my friends the right. Im no bear grylls, but even my friend who's a fireman was out of breath climbing the stairs to hell. Why didnt i take the lift you ask- because they dont have one. Oh and the floors arent linked so to visit my friends room i had to walk all the way down and all the way up again. May i recommend this place as a low class fat camp.
Having reached the summit we opended the gateway to hell!
It soon became apparent there was more DNA in these rooms than the brothels in Amsterdam! Mine came with an interesting patch, i think they must have moved the body a few hours before. I honestly dont know what it was but im sure it hand life in in. My friend saw the upside, 'oh at least youve got a nice big wardrobe' he said. He couldnt have be more wrong... the wardrobe was the bathroom/wetroom/beeding ground for lime disease..
Distraught my friend departed to discover the likes of his room. The only luxuary was the two inch window. It opened but not enought to abort the flithly smell of the DNA in the room. Safety is clearly very important here. My fireman friend soon noticed that a large stripy sock had been placed over the only fire/smoke detection in the room. Stay here at your own peril.
We hired bikes, we went out, partied and enjoyed the city spending nd much time away from armageddon as we could. Our good mood was quickly squashed as soon as we returned to the hotel.We had to shower in the dark as the bulb went, got eletrocuted by the light switch and were constantly examining the red bites over out bodies.
Concerns for our health growing by the hour we finally escaped but not unscathed. We are still discusing the whole experience one month later and are all still very much emotionally affected.
To summerise- If you havent packed your sense of humor, forensic suit and mountaineering equipment, you may not survive to type a review on here
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC