I feel an actual sense of revulsion as I write this review. I am currently writing a letter to the Scottish Tourism Board and the Enviromental Health at the council.

Where on earth to start? OK, let's start at the 'front door'. The hostel is located in the arse-end of the town, where the drunks and druggies hang around, and where the rubbish bins pile up, stinking the street out.

The alley-way type entry has the front door permenantly open for the smokers, and we actually smelt cannabis being smoked, and there were beer cans, cigarette butts and other rubbish littering the place.

Then you have to climb 80-odd steps up a spiral staircase to get to the place. It is dingy, and 'reception' is a desk amongst a very disorganised mess. The girl at the desk asked £5 for a key deposit and we got to the room, which she warned us hadn't been cleaned yet. Bracing ourselves, we went in...

The room was AWFUL. I don't want people to think I'm some sort of snob who's used to hotels; I HAVE stayed in many hostels around the world - but this was ridiculous. The 'curtain' was SELLOTAPED onto the window, which couldn't be fully opened in case of a fire. The carpet was worn, the paint was chipped, and the 'wardrobe' barely held together.

The bed? Oh god, the bed. I alway check the duvet and pillows, and I was in for a shock. The pillows were YELLOW with sweat and spit, and the duvet had a LARGE DRIED BLOOD STAIN on it, about FOUR INCHES in diameter. I went and complained, and was told 'oh, well it's been washed since'. What?!?!?! So that's alright then?!

Looking at the bathrooms, there were large holes punched into the thin plasterboard, electrics and pipes on show, and condensation rotting the wood.

I immediately said I wasn't stopping there and she then tried to charge me for a night! Needless to say, they're not getting anything out of me. This place brings the name of hostels around the world to shame.