Not what I would rate as a small friendly hotel, staff are curt and just plain rude, the lift was out of order when I arrived and I was told to just use the stairs to the third floor room and no help offered with the three cases I had with me. I had booked an ensuite room and to be fair it was that in the strict technical definition of the word. I would recommend however that the room I ended up with be kept strictly for visiting contortionists. I fail to see how anyone of a more normal stature could use these facilities and not end up suffering with dislocated limbs as a result. Definitely not recommended for those with a claustrophobic disposition, I have been in phone boxes more spacious. Don’t bother with breakfast, it just not worth the effort.

This place isn't clean. I was horrified by the bedding and was never comfortable for a minute. The staff was unpleasant, the breakfast not good. It was traumatic to stay here. I'm returning to London soon and will steer clear of this mess. Every other place I've ever stayed in London -- countless places -- was far better. I was stuck in tourist season, not having planned ahead enough. You've been warned.

I have driven across the US and stayed in some pretty questionable hotels, but when I come to London I know that I have to be, shall we say "flexible" about my expectations for a hotel room. I realize that when traveling through Europe it's wise to bring your sense of humor however I was totally unprepared for my experience at the Oliver.

The first thing you think as you walk through the door is "What's the cancellation policy again?" I was dutifully interrogated by the ex KGB employee who manned the front desk and ushered off to my room.

Surprise, yes the room was small...well tiny actually: so welcome to London! All par for the course... but then I saw the bathroom... oh my God. I'm 5 feet 8 inches, not exactly tall but there wasn't enough room for me to sit on the toilet, I had to sit sideways to accommodate my knees!

Well that was good for a laugh. (remember, sense of humor required)

But I wasn't particularly amused when I tried taking a shower and discovered that there wasn't enough space in the stall to move my arms, I literally had to soak under the water, step out of the shower to soap and scrub and step back in to rinse off!

Thank God I was only here for one night.

After my shower I made the mistake of going downstairs for the "Continental" breakfast that was included with my stay. What I wasn't told was that the continent in question was Antarctica! Undrinkable coffee, rubbery egg (singular), slimy yogurt and miserable service, there was not one edible thing in the room.

And speaking of miserable service...not a single smile the whole time I was there from any of the employees. They offered consistently "Soviet" service that led me to believe that I was really just an annoyance...or an inmate.

Needless to say unless you're fresh from the Gulag avoid this place like the plague...which I suspect is being incubated in the bed linens!

One last thing, I would love to hear from anyone, ANYONE who has stayed at this hotel and gone back to stay another night.

Be warned, stayed one night and woke up the next day blotchy and itching all over. Now having to have everything worn dry cleaned / thrown out so as not to transfer home. Avoid room 7, not just for the fact you'll be bitten to death, but you get the added bonus of the kitchen staff making lots of noise just after 6am.... yes, horrible!!! Avoid.