I was only in London for a day, to attend an event, and I wasn't the one to make the travel arrangements. I arrived at the London Guards Hotel--had to hunt just a little to find it--too early for check-in, but they allowed me to drop off my suitcase and told me to come back between 1:00 and 2:00. The man at the desk was friendly about it, even gave me a card that said my room number would be 401.
I walked around for a bit, but returned to the hotel earlier than I'd been instructed; I'd say shortly before noon. By then the lobby was filled with suitcases that people had left (they had no separate place for them). I sat down on one of the sofas and read for a bit, but it wasn't long before the man at the desk called housekeeping to ask if 401 was ready. It was. I was able to get into my room early, which was nice.
Now the lobby is small but decent. There's a lift, which is better than carting a suitcase up the stairs. Everyone who worked there, whenever I passed them in a hall or met them in the lift, was friendly. They always smiled and greeted me. And room 401 was much bigger than I expected it to be, too.
The unfortunate side to all this is that the hotel is in desperate need of work. My room had peeling wallpaper. Although the windows were shut, when the wind blew, the curtains moved--quite drafty. The radiator did a fine job keeping the room warm, but the flip side was the all-night noise of water moving in the walls. The fridge was old, and there was nothing in it besides some creamer for the coffee maker. I still might have overlooked all these things--I wasn't planning to spend a ton of time in my room anyway--except the bed was hugely uncomfortable. Lumpy and slightly angled with insufficient pillows. And since the one key thing to a hotel is having somewhere (ideally comfortable) to sleep . . . I have to deduct points there.
The location is good, right by Hyde Park and Kensington Gardens. Not too far from the Lancaster Gate tube station. I didn't try the food, so I can't say anything to that. The hot water certainly works, though, even at the top floor. Though instead of shampoo bottles, they have little tear packets which can be difficult if your hands are already wet from the shower.
All in all a mixed bag, but I wouldn't stay there again unless I'd heard they'd at least replaced all the mattresses.
This review is the subjective opinion of a TripAdvisor member and not of TripAdvisor LLC