On a recent trip to the Chilliwack/Agassiz area we were traveling with our three-year-old who goes to bed early. This had me facing the task of finding a motel, hotel, or B&B room which had a separate bedroom so that the missus and I wouldn't have to also go to bed at 7:30. This mandate also directed our last summer's road trip across B.C. Apparently the success of that trip couldn't carry over to our little weekend trip to Chilliwack.

Let me make this patently clear: this motel is a nightmare. It's so bad that it is actually kind of funny. Keep reading...

Let's start by checking out the motel's web-site's blurb. I'll spare you the trouble of actually going to the two-paged web-site. Here is the pitch right off the site:

"If you ever find yourself traveling through beautiful British Columbia with a limited budget and a mood for luxurious relaxation, then we’d like you to remember us here at The Chilliwack Motor Inn, where we’re ready to welcome the weary traveler with a comfortable place to stay.

Don’t settle for overpriced hotels or run-down hostels, when you can have the benefits of affordability and comfort within one convenient location. For details about what we have to offer, we encourage you to browse through the rest of this Web site and notify us if you have any questions."

If you are in the "mood for luxurious relaxation," trust me, this is NOT the motel for you. "Run-down hostels" - now ain't that a laugh? No, instead try staying at this run-down motel. My head can hardly stop shaking at the thought of this deceptive little web-site. Let's look at what made this night's stay such a disaster:

Early Warning Signals
1) The Chillwack Motor Inn's web-site does not have photos of the actual motel. As we found out, there is good reason for this. In my experience, no photos on a motel web-site is a sure sign of a night's sleep best spent elsewhere, but hey, I was desperate.
2) The charge for the night for two adults and the little one was only $70. I'm all for a bargain, but the price here clearly reflects what you are getting. Barely. It may actually be over-priced.
3) Upon our arrival, the lobby check-in area looked like a disaster. What a mess!
4) The manager could not find the key to the unit that they had intended to put us in. She explained that they were having workers do some work and that perhaps they had the key. "Perhaps?" Any motel that doesn't keep strict control over their keys is suspect in my opinion. And as for the supposed workers, I don't know, the place didn't appear to have seen a worker in recent times.

The Room
Unable to find that key, the manager placed us in a room which, as I requested, had a separate bedroom, plus a kitchenette. Sounds good, right? Hmm... keep reading...

1) As we approached the room on the second floor, I could see that the screens on the window were quite worn, with some tears, but then who cares about a few rips, right?
2) Immediately, my partner noticed that the room smelled like cigarettes. Supposedly, the room was a non-smoking room. Apparently not.
3) The (hollow) door to the separate bedroom had a fist-sized hole on the side facing the living room. Nice, huh? But hey, "it's only one night" I kept being told. Right. I was clearly thankful for that fact.
4) It will probably not surprise you to learn that all the room's furnishings were straight out of the early seventies. Everything was worn, including the carpet which had assorted stains; that also included a stain by the bedside. We didn't even bother open up the hide-a-bed in the living room for fear of what might be in there.
5) Probably the Chilliwack Motor Inn's only saving's grace was that it's bed linen was clean. That was a huge relief: no bed bugs. Maybe the hide-a-bed's linen was fine, but then again maybe not. Ignorance is bliss.

Amenities
The hotel lists a "heated swimming pool" as one of it's amenities. You must be kidding me! Yeah, there is a pool, and technically the web-site doesn't say anything about it being a functional pool - you know, a pool with clean water in it that you can actually swim in. This pool, on the other hand, has a blue tarp covered with rain water, leaves and scum. Sure, technically, this pool IS heated. The Sun in the sky does an amazing job of heating this wretched thing. Oh yeah, I'm clearly nitpicking.

Conclusion
The Chilliwack Motor Inn describes itself as "first class accommodation at competitive rates." I don't know whose standards those reflect, but they clearly are not mine - and I suspect they are not yours. Yes, the place IS cheap, but run my friend, stay clear of this unkept relic from the past.