Reviews on TripAdvisor tell you as much, if not more, about the reviewer than the subject of the review. So of course this report is subjective. But in 2010 we had had a wonderful time at Coco's Hotel on Antigua, and had hoped that the Cocounut Beach Club would be as good. It wasn't.

The location in itself is fine, with a good private beach (which deserves more attention to litter etc than it receives). Swimming is for the stronger swimmer, as there is always a swell and an undertow, and sometimes the waves are extremely boisterous. But, despite CBC's proximity as the pelican flies to St John's, it offers little to the pedestrian beyond walks into the countryside (Fort Barrington is worth the puff). There are no long beach walks to attractive restaurants, cafes, villages or anything at all. So unless you take taxis or the shuttle bus (not cheap) you are effectively marooned.

We hadn't come to do a lot of exploring - we had done that two years before. So we enjoyed the opportunity simply to chill. And the Club is good for that. The staff are friendly and helpful - except for one waitress, who could sulk for the Caribbean. Minor problems were attended to quickly. Dinner was well presented,and there were always three choices of everything. Dinner never felt like the 'All Inclusive' it was, but rather more stylish. That was a tad spoiled on the weekly 'barbecue' night: a chef cooking bits and pieces at one end of a buffet doesn't make a barbecue. But no matter. We enjoyed dinner most nights.

Lunches were basically refuelling stops: self-service and not a huge amount of variety. But reasonable quality, and we always ate more than we intended. Breakfasts were the low point: very little variety (will sausages be off or on was the question of the day) and on mornings when the fruit had run out and the cold meat had disappeared, breakfast was very dull indeed. Bananas appeared once during the fortnight: a cause of much rejoicing.

But we were never hungry. The wine was perfectly reasonable, and there was plenty of it. Those who wanted an all-day bar were always happy, except sometimes first thing in the morning! Water bottles were filled on request. The only rip-offs were the laundry - terrible, with creases where none had ever existed, and no creases where there used to be - and the 'Wellness Cottage'. The latter gave my wife 45 minutes instead of the promised hour, charged more than the stated tariff, and added tax (perfectly reasonable in itself) without mentioning the fact on the leaflet. Avoid.

The real let-down was the buildings. Our 'Junior Suite' was large and reasonably decorated, but had a tired old kitchen area that was totally redundant. Why are there kitchens in an AI hotel, given that there are no shops, and the kitchen itself had not a single plate or utensil? Literally a waste of space. The bathroom was tired too. None of the balconies catch any sun - they all face the wrong way. The sun is on the back of the hotel all day. But of course you can't do anything about orientation. Incidentally, over the hedges and trees at the back of the hotel is a lagoon, from which emanated all sorts of seductive bird noises. We would love to have seen it. But it's a no-go area. It probably also explains the insect life about which many reviewers have complained. We have encountered worse. My problem is that I + DEET prove totally irresistible to most insects. But that's hardly CBC's fault.

Our biggest criticism is of the bar and pool area. Old hands (and Cocounut Beach does inspire considerable loyalty amongtst its older clientele) were distraught that the former pool had disappeared, to be replaced by an 'infinity pool' which was basically a large tank. Fine for lengths, but not much else. Some decking up to the pool would have made it more fun. It might have cheered up the bar area too. Though close to the pool, it has all the attraction of an empty Church Hall. The regulars draw up great chairs around the bar, forming a kind of stockade. The rest are left with some fixed tables and a variety of chairs - never enough - in a totally characterless area. I cannot think of a more depressing space in any of the Caribbean hotels at which we have stayed.

The sadness is that it wouldn't take much to make the Coconut Beach Club a much more enjoyable place. Some low tables and chairs scattered around the bar area would be my first low-cost investment. A good lick of paint almost everywhere would be my second. When funds permitted I would get rid of all the redundant kitchens in the suites and make them more interesting spaces. I would replace all the mosquito panels in the windows with ones that worked. As they say, it's not rocket science - it just needs a bit of imagination.

For all that, we went to chill and that's what we did. There's undeniably a charm about the place, which is perhaps why it seems to attract the older clients who don't want anything too sophisticated. If you close your eyes to the obvious faults it's possible to imagine yourself back in colonial days when it was easy to be pretentious on a budget. I'm sure I heard one old boy calling for 'tiffin' and shouting 'Quai-hai'. It was almost as good as a cabaret.

We enjoyed our 10 day stay at The Coconut Beach Club. We had a pleasant large ground floor room with a sitting area outside, a few feet from the beach. The room was clean and the beach lovely.We enjoyed the food and felt there was a good choice especially as we don't eat meat (but eat fish). The staff were friendly and helpful.
The only downside was that taxi's into St John's were expensive and so were the trips. We went on a 'classic safari' and felt that it would have been better to hire a car for 2 days for the same price and take a guide book. Overall an enjoyable holiday

We returned for the third time and reluctantly we considered that the hotel has slipped back. In particular when it neared being full up both the staff and food ( particularly breakfast and lunch) appeared stretched. We did visit the sister hotel and thought that Coconut Beach Club was the poor relation of the two. On the positive side the staff are very friendly , the location is suburb and it is an excellent place to chill out. Suggest a small investment by the owners with regard to more staff, better lunch menus and better seating furnature would return it to to when we visited three years ago and thought we had found paradise. They still have not brought the breakfast cook out front hence guests become confused on what they can order. When we arrived there was a ban on breakfast fried eggs and omlettes , thankfully the manger reversed that desision.

We arrived Christmas Eve, very nice location and extremely friendly staff. Clean beach at the resort and other clean beaches within a short walk. We would recommend the Coconut Beach Club for a 'chill out' break, with a good selection of food served in the restaurant. The rooms could do with being refurbished along with the bathroom, as it was tired but clean. We
enjoyed our break and meet up with like minded couples.