BEFORE I START
Let’s nail a couple of niggles first, because I want to talk the Lagg Hotel up. We didn’t report them so the hotel didn’t have a chance to put them right and it’s thus unfair to mark them down. The TV only had two channels. A curtain draped worryingly onto the convector heater. A fire door was wedged open. One bedside touch light didn’t work.

SUMMARY
This is an expensive but comfortable hotel in an idyllic setting, which scores highly in all departments. It is a quality affair but you do pay for that.

SITUATION
Shakespeare described England as "This other Eden, demi-paradise" (well Google it, then). The same goes for the village of Lagg and its hotel. It is quite idyllic. Set in a combe, it is surrounded by a pleasing mix of evergreen and deciduous trees, with only the babbling of the burn and the wind in the trees to break the spell (oh alright and an occasional vehicle). The hotel also has exquisitely manicured lawns (clock the website), which just adds to the magic. Wildlife abounds, including red squirrels and varied birdlife.

In terms of accessibility, it is possible see Arran’s main attractions by bus from Lagg but a car is definitely advisable. However, to say that it’s on Arran’s main road (A841) would be misleading. There are only a few dozen vehicle movements a day and you can’t drive quickly anyway, so vehicle noise doesn’t obtrude.

ARCHITECTURE
The oldest part of the building is C18th or before. Later additions are sympathetic and it's hard to see the join.

SERVICE AND FACILITIES
This isn’t a Marriott or a Holiday Inn (thankfully), so doesn’t have city hotel baubles. It’s a quality rural inn in Scotland. It has a comfortable bar (with open fire), a superb residents’ lounge and a restaurant. It is open to non-residents and I recommend a stop here, even if you’re just passing.

We were expected and were checked in swiftly by one of the many delightful staff. Check out, too was efficient. Throughout our stay, we were struck by the quality of the staff, whether they were serving us supper or trying to sound interested in our accounts of the previous day’s activities (which they’ve only heard a million times before).

ROOM, DECOR &c
Our room was kept spotless, as was the hotel generally, so full marks to the staff there. The bed was the size of a football (that’s ‘soccer’ if you’re American) pitch and there was ample clothes storage, including an illuminated walk-in wardrobe. The furniture was not your usual tacky hotel chic but proper furniture. You get tea ‘n’ coffee making facilities, of course and room service is available for the feebly unsociable. The bathroom was a good size, too, with pristine white tiling, a bath and shower and an extractor that actually worked (almost unheard of). The TV only had two channels (the third packed up) but, then, the trees do present some RF attenuation challenges (you can’t get a GSM signal, I’m pleased to say).

Thought has gone into the decor throughout the hotel. It’s been kept attractive but simple, so it’s easier to keep it looking smart.

FOOD 'n' DRINK
We didn’t eat in the restaurant (which oozed quality) but we did eat in the bar from the same menu. Too much choice implies frozen but, at the Lagg, the menu is well-planned, offering just a couple each of meat/game, fish and vegetarian options. We tried an example of each during our stay. They were all well thought out and executed, using quality local produce. They also offer breakfast rolls and snacks (during the morning) and lunch.

Despite having an excellent brewery on the island, I couldn’t see any evidence of cask ales. There’s Arran beer in bottles (highly recommended) and the usual nitro-keg stuff (avoid) but a real beer would have been nice. Maybe the InBev rep vetoed it. They DO have a bewildering array of malts, including Arran (also highly recommended).

VFM
We thoroughly enjoyed every aspect of our stay but a week for two (with bar meals) almost topped a thousand notes and cheap, that ain’t. I also clocked Mine Host driving a Maserati (not that I begrudge him that, lucky swine). If you consider the quality and quantity of the staff, the quality of the offering, you understand the prices but that’s different from deeming them VFM. The jury remains out on this one.

With the rape of the Breadalbane Hotel site, the choice in this part of the island is the Kildonan Hotel or the Lagg. If you don’t want to pay the Lagg’s prices and aren’t attracted by the, er, idiosyncratic over-styling of the Kildonan (I’ve not stayed there), you simply have to stay in another part of the island.