We are just about to head back to Phuket for our 3rd time. We love the place! We have 2 kids who both love it too! First time we went, we stayed at the Movenpick Koran Beach which set the bar very high! We LOVED it! Next time which was last year, we couldnt get in so like many, we looked on the net. If you look at the Photos of the Talay (which is still being sold as Ramada), it looks nice! Problem is, those photos would have been taken in about 1998!!

We arrived very excited in the middle of the day. As we got near the place full of expectation after the Movenpick, I saw this and thought "Oh please no!, that cant be it!" It was!!!

The place was run down, smelly and old. I wouldnt make eye contact with my wife as I think the Heat rays would have singed my eyeballs as I could already feel them staring angrily at the back of my head!

After a farcical check in we went to our 'Space themed' room... What a joke! Concete floors in the rooms!,WTF?? The TV was the same one this room had when man landed on the moon!, the beds doubled as solid work benches, the toilets were so dirty and mouldy, we could here the Germs beckoning us to enter! The balcony had plastic chairs (that didnt match) and they were the ones you buy at Bunnings for $15.00 (or in this case they were so old, probably McEwans!

The 'Dino pool' which looked delightful in the pics was well, as old as the Dinosaurs and looked like a T-Rex had been regularly relieving himself in it! The Dinosaur statue in the pool had obviously been shot by an American hunter and its head must be mounted on his pool room wall back in Texas, as its head was gone!

As soon as the door clicked closed on the room and the porter left, the words I suspected would come, came. ":I AM NOT STAYING HERE!!!!!!" Yep, the wife! The kids were in horror that the 'Space' room was simply a plain concrete room that had been painted black, had some fluro planets painted on it and the 'Space beds' were simply small wooden racks on the floor! The Playstation looked like it came from a flea market after being rejected from someones holiday house! (it was the oldest one ive seen). I think they must have just upgraded the Commodore 64 to this.


Needless to say we checked out after 2 hours and I demanded our 7 nights money back and got it all bar 1! We checked in at the Hilton down the road and had a great time.

Off to the Movenpick again shortly to a new residence room, cant wait. I may drive past the Talay to see if the lady in the kids club is now just a skeleton with cob webs, sitting on a stool, waiting in eternity for a customer.... She was bored shytless when we saw her, no wonder!

This place is the Faulty Towers of Phuket! Dont do it!! Noooooooooooooooooo!!!!

Had booked for a four night stay after falling for the asia web direct promotion of the hotel. I complained after the first day that the resort was not living up to the standards being advertised and got my fourth night free, the kids club looked like it had not been used i months, there was no pool bar, it was like a ghost town, the rooms were ok, we stayed in the Princess uite and the girls loved it, air con was noisy but in all i cant fault the rooms. The pool on the 2nd floor was ok, slide worked and was clean, the other pool i wouldnt even dip my toe in.
Joe cools is a complete dive, the air con never worked, the buffet breakfast was a complete joke, cold, boring and dull. The place is also not very well located as any decent places to eat are a good trek away, the beach is 5 mins away and does offer a nice getaway even though prices all over Phuket are rediculously high, expect to pay 4 times the amount that you would in Bangkok!
I wouldnt recommend this hotel to anyone, which is a shame because all it needs is a good renovation and it could be a 3/4 star, as of June 11, its more like a 2 star.

- Hotel is aging and in desperate need of a makeover, the cot we received was broken, with stains, I requested a new one and this was mouldy. The plaster on doorway was falling off without going near it, the grout in the bathrooms was moudly. A bolt on the slide at the kids pool was broken but it was still in use, the water features were not in use. Housekeeping kept the rooms as clean as possible but it just didnt meet the expectations we had from reading the brochure. The hotel advertised features that were no longer operating.
- Staff are friendly and offer Thai hospitality.
- Themed rooms are awesome, we stayed in 'under the sea' room and our kids absolutely loved the fish tanks, (Although it smelt like you were on a dive boat).
- 15 minute walk to markets, restaurants, massage etc. Beach is 5 mins walk and easy to get to with kids, a few local eateries on the beach.

Everything looked very nice when we checked in at night and the reception staff were very nice. It started when we had upgraded our rooms to deluxe without any additional payment, which we were very happy to.

But ...

When we went to breakfast the morning after we got us a shock. There was no service at all and the staff seemed very grumpy. They never smile on the 10 days we were there. The food was mostly ok.

The rest of the hotel reflect the fact that it is not renovated for some time. The pools were full of green algae. Sunbeds grew mushrooms. The mattresses were worn out and smelled very bad.

The children's area was full of dirt. Pool bar was never open. (should be open from kl.10 - 17 each day).

The only thing i can say positiv about this hotel is that they have free wireless Internett.

We will NEVER return to this hotel.