After three nights the exasperation finally got to me. "How can this hotel have a five star rating when the service is so unbelievably bad?" The young man behind the desk in the T-shirt and beads looked bewildered. "Star ratings are given based on facilities, not on service." In that moment I knew there was no point continuing the conversation, we weren't on the same page.

From an outside observation it looks like the owner of the Mas Passamaner dumped a ton of money into the property, turned it over to his staff and then went on vacation. Everything is there for a truly great establishment. Nothing was overlooked. Except training the staff to extend what he has provided for the guest.

The staff is a mixture of young foreigners who seem to have come to the hotel to be trained - but there's no training. As a whole, they have no idea what is expected of them when entertaining guests who have been led to believe that they can expect a "five star" experience from a five star hotel.

They stand chatting on cell phones when you arrive and don't bother to greet you. When you need someone from the front desk you can ring the bell and maybe someone will hear you and maybe not. Don't expect someone to offer to help you with your bags. They don't have maps of the area or to the airport but if you sit and wait while they chat on the phone, when they finish with everything else, they will find a map on the net and print it out for you. (I waited 15 minutes and then gave up.)

Upon check-in when you tell them that your balcony is filthy and needs to be cleaned they argue that they cleaned it the night before.

Dirty dishes or towels around the pool are not picked up until after 10 P.M. and sometimes not for two days. The tables were never washed nor the leaves brushed from the couches. The pool was not cleaned while we were there and by the fourth day the flies were so thick that I went looking for a net so I could swim. If you want a drink, you must go to the kitchen and find someone who can make you one (later I found that there was a phone by the pool but no one had informed us of this). If you need a towel for the pool you need to go to the office and get one.

The food is excellent but the wait is exasperating. Half and hour for fried eggs and toast when you are the only ones in the restaurant is unrealistic. Twenty minutes to bring you a piece of cardboard to fix your wobbly table is infuriating.

The spa experience lacks the little extra plesantries that make a spa experience pampering. They have a resting room filled with waters and teas and fruit but you are not invited in or informed of it. There are lockers but you are not offered one. They have no robes so you walk between rooms with towels around you. Slippers are not offered but later I found out that they, and shampoo are in the lockers. There is no soap or shampoo or conditioner available unless you ask/interrupt the girls chatting in the entrance and ask for it. When your treatment is finished they say, "You're finished." And they walk out. They don't come back to see if you need anything, how you liked it or to offer you a drink. You're done, they're done and they're gone.

If you hate ever seeing staff (except for them sitting and chatting in the office) this is the place for you.